Himani Dalmia & Gentle Baby Sleep India (GBSI)

         

Himani has been researching and helping parents with baby sleep voluntarily for the last five years. Her journey started when her firstborn, Devika, turned four months old. Himani began to read books and articles about baby sleep to try to find a way to deal with the seemingly endless sleepless nights that accompanied a newborn and educating herself about sleep science and sleep philosophies. Being a member of several parenting groups on Facebook, she found that mothers frequently posted about their children’s sleep “problems”, which she answered regularly.

Himani noticed that though there were a number of groups focused on breastfeeding, baby-wearing, gentle parenting, early childhood development and feeding solids, there was no group specifically dedicated to baby sleep, even though sleep is as important as food for a baby and managing a baby’s developing sleep abilities does not necessarily come instinctively. Also, most of the information available online veered towards sleep training, which is a huge industry, particularly in the West. Himani belonged to the school of gentle and attachment parenting, of being baby-led, of not allowing a baby to cry. She realised that a huge level of awareness creation was required.

It was around this time that Himani had a conversation with her former schoolmate, Neha Bhatt, who had a son about a year older than her daughter and with whom she had re-connected after they both became parents. Neha was also passionate about baby sleep and soon they both felt a group dedicated to this cause would serve a huge need. They co-founded Gentle Baby Sleep India in February 2016 and there was no looking back!

Today, the group has over 40,000 members, with hundreds being added every day. It is steered by a fabulous team of admins- supermums who are well-informed and passionate about biologically normal infant sleep, who manage the group along with their family and professional responsibilities. As their research on baby sleep took on new depth and the resources on the group grew, Neha and Himani also signed a contract with Penguin Random House for the first Indian book on baby sleep, which is forthcoming in 2022.

Meanwhile, Himani had also become a Leader of the La Leche League – the largest breastfeeding non-profit globally. She also had her second daughter, Yamini. As her passion for helping parents and babies in the area of baby sleep grew, so did her desire to study this topic formally. Himani enrolled into the best sleep course she could find which would permit her to stay true to her principles regarding gentle sleep. Globally, baby sleep is almost synonymous with “sleep training” – which is a harsh and rather outdated way of looking at the topic. And sleep training is a multi-million-dollar industry worldwide – there are sleep trainers, sleep clinics, sleep books. Himani found an Australian course that met her standards - a rigorous, Master’s level course, during which she went through reams of medical research, analysed surveys, worked with practice clients and prepared detailed reports. It took her two years to complete the course, along with taking care of her babies and other responsibilities. Her objective in completing this course was to expand her knowledge and increase the impact of the work she was already doing on GBSI. She also wanted to find other avenues of talking about baby sleep, like maybe working with some healthcare professionals or holding some workshops. At this stage she had not really thought of providing sleep support professionally.

In 2021, GBSI increasingly started receiving queries for references of sleep consultants and one-on-one support. While Himani offered this support voluntarily to several mums, she realised that helping parents with baby sleep involved going really deep into the situation. One needed to remain in touch for several days, even weeks, to help the parent implement the suggestions provided. Seeing the need for this kind of one-on-one guidance and intense involvement, Himani decided to take her passion to the next level and offer professional support to anyone who needs it. At present, alongside her voluntary support in GBSI, Himani works with parents individually if they feel the need for more personalized and long-term help.

One of the biggest challenges Himani faced was her own bandwidth. Being a hands-on parent to two little girls, along with the covid situation, left her with little time to launch a new practice; resulting in her sleeping at 2 or 3 am on most days! Another challenge she faced was the hesitancy of parents in reaching out for professional help. While there is clearly a need for this service, there are also a lot of myths and preconceived notions about baby sleep. Some parents who don’t know Himani’s background and philosophy assume that any counselling linked to baby sleep is probably sleep training or involves harsh techniques that cause distress to the baby. Himani has to reassure them that her approach is the very antithesis of sleep training!

There are also several parents who feel that baby sleep, like all aspects of parenting, should be natural and intuitive and that it’s strange to pay someone else to tell them how to handle their own baby. The fact is that baby sleep is an art and a science and modern society is not aligned with a baby’s biological needs. So, while it is definitely possible to figure it out themselves, consulting a specialist shortens the learning curve, helps cut through all the misinformation available and prevents a lot of needless experimentation. Himani has also found it tough to find good help; especially with the pandemic making it difficult to interview candidates, evaluate work, train a team and have work happen smoothly, all without physical interaction.

Himani offers four types of sessions:

1 HOUR COUNSELLING SESSION: A discussion on the baby's sleep in detail over a video call where Himani explains the changes that could help the situation. This is followed by a detailed, personalized information and recommendations pack by email.

1 MONTH COUNSELLING SUPPORT: After the 1-hour counselling session and written recommendations as above, Himani hand-holds the parents for a month as they implement these changes. This is an extremely intensive and detailed support at a micro level. Himani assists everyday - hour by hour - over WhatsApp or call, as required.

3 MONTHS OF BABY SLEEP SUPPORT:  Over the course of three months, Himani helps parents navigate all the changes in the routine - as babies change their routines almost every month. She guides parents through nap transitions, sleep regressions, etc.

GROUP SESSIONS: Finally, Himani holds small group sessions of 1.5 hours each over video conferencing every couple of months. Each group consists of approximately 6 parents with similarly aged babies (like 0-4 months, 5-7 months, 8-15 months, etc.). In these Himani explains the basics of baby sleep for that age group, followed by an interaction where she addresses individual issues.

Apart from her work on baby sleep, Himani enjoys reading, especially audiobooks and books on parenting! She is also a writer – with one published novel and two books underway. Himani adores children’s picture books and consider reading those as much a hobby for herself as for her kids. She has previously been responsible for the creation of some leading food brands under the banner of one of her family companies, where she worked for 10 years. In addition, Himani is a trained Hindustani classical singer in the style of the Patiala gharana. She loves travelling, swimming and binge-watching TV shows. She is married to her high-school sweetheart and her days are full with her two daughters, two dogs and her extensive work in the arena of baby sleep.

Follow her on

https://www.instagram.com/gentlebabysleep.counselling/